Would You Vote For Them? (Superhero Edition)

Election Day! Our opportunity as members of a democratic republic to make our voices heard and elect our leaders. With the 2016 Presidential election a year away, this year is mainly local candidates here in Upstate New York. So let’s have a little fun with some HEROIC candidates in my “What If?” Election Day edition!

Let’s start with:

The Candidates

The Disrupter

This outspoken billionaire is shaking up the political establishment with his blunt talk, colorful playboy lifestyle, and general disdain for those with less mental acuity. He could buy and sell any of his opponents – did he mention that he’s rich? We’ve never seen a candidate like him before! Whatever happens, he’s sure to leave his mark on this Presidential race!

It’s Donald Trump Tony Stark aka Iron Man! (You weren’t thinking Bruce Wayne/Batman were you? C’mon, I’m a Marvel guy…)

The Female Pioneer

She’s a strong woman, boldly making her way in a male-dominated field. Her entire career has been one of challenging conventions and this Presidential race is no exception. Don’t discount her candidacy because she’s carrying on the mantle of her predecessor with the same name! She’s earned her place here!

A little respect, please, for Hillary Clinton Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel!

The Familiar Face

Both the face – and the name – are familiar for this candidate. His family’s values have shaped and defined this latest iteration of this legacy candidate. How is he different from the last one? I’m not really sure. It’s rather confusing, honestly. But look, you know the general story. How much different can this one be? Voting for one of them is basically voting for all of them.

Let’s hear it for Jeb Bush the Spider-Man clone! Or the original Peter Parker. No wait, I think that is the clone. I don’t have a clue…

The Outsider From the Left

So what if our country has been defined by free market capitalism since its creation. Why can’t we consider a little socialism? He’s not a Communist, after all. This unassuming simple man is committed to his people. No ego trips with this guy! He’s a hard worker doing his best. You get the sense that he’d really prefer the simpler life, all things considered. But that won’t stop him from standing up to evil no matter the cost!

Don’t look down at this guy because he’s a mutant – it’s Bernie Sanders Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin aka Colossus!

***

OK, well no matter who we elect they’ve got some work to do! We need to know where these candidates stand on:

The Issues

Illegal Aliens and Border Security

What’s that? Trump says he can build a better fence? Listen, his focus is in the wrong place. Do you think a stronger fence would have stopped the Chitauri? They popped out of an other dimensional wormhole above New York City! We need some kind of a force field or something! Is the Invisible Woman available?

National Defense

We have threats. Forget the Chitauri. They’re not even on this planet. I’m talking about hostile foreign governments whose leaders are committed to either global domination or our total destruction. You can’t negotiate with a madman like Dr. Doom!

Corruption and the Need for Public Reform

It’s part of the price we pay for our free market. But that doesn’t mean we need to accept it! Some people may not even accept – or they don’t want to know – how far up the corruption goes. Someone has to take a stand against these shadowy criminal enterprises. Let’s start with the one belonging to the Kingpin!

My Recommendation

Leading our nation is a tough job. Our President needs to have the fortitude to fight the good fight. Never quit. Its takes courage, commitment, and, most of all, integrity. In my mind there’s only one man for the job. That’s why I’ll be writing in my vote for Steve Rogers aka Captain America!

For a more serious look at the real candidates, here’s a nifty graphic from the folks at Personal Capital.

Some real-world numbers about the business of politics

Some real-world numbers about the business of politics

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1 Comment

Filed under Funny- ha ha, Geek 101

One response to “Would You Vote For Them? (Superhero Edition)

  1. Pingback: Chapter 140: In Which The Universe (And An Internet Marketing Consultant) Show Me That I Am Not Nearly As Witty As I Think I Am | TMPinSYR

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