There are few pleasures in life as pure as messing with scammers. If I also waste some of their time in the process, all the better! I’ve shared the fruits of my labor-of-love in the past across a few different platforms including a recent call where the scammer got to talk to Captain America aka Steve Rogers.Continue reading
Tag Archives: scam
Warning: neither federal agents nor Steve Rogers appears in this phone call.
I don’t like scammers. Given the opportunity, I will try to engage them and waste their time. Way back when this blog started I shared an encounter with an online scammer that was all via Facebook messenger. My Facebook friends have seen screenshots of other similar engagements over the years. I like wasting their time and I especially like seeing how ridiculous the story can get.
This morning I received a robocall from “OFFICER” at “LEGAL DEPARTMENT”. This sounded serious so I pressed 1 to be connected to “OFFICER”. I was near my computer so I quickly started recording via the laptop mic. It’s not my finest work but I feel that if “OFFICER” had just been a bit more patient with me we really were getting to some good stuff.
Warning: “OFFICER” uses some NSFW language. I really shocked my delicate sensibilities.
I’m just a kid from Brooklyn, after all.
A couple of years ago, on the Monday following a July 4th weekend, my brother Chris’s partner had his Facebook account hacked. When my wife logged onto her Facebook that morning, the fake “Beau” pounced and related a heart-wrenching tale of suspense, danger and intrigue. This was an also international thriller as the excitement had apparently unfolded in London!
The fact that my brother and his partner had been out on a boat on Lake Erie just two days prior certainly seemed to present some logistical challenges for “Beau”. A Sunday jaunt to Great Britain is also the kind of event that would come up in casual conversation with my brother. As we’d not heard anything about the trip across the pond, it seemed suspicious to me.
At first I prompted Aubry to offer the then-suspicious “Beau” the opportunity to verify his identity via some personal information. Within a few moments, my wife had me take over the chat on her computer (and her Facebook account). Apparently internet scam artists must truly be cagey masterminds as he quickly asked, “What are you trying to do, verify me?”
My next follow-up question about the particular car that “Beau” drives was quickly met with Facebook’s response that Aubry’s account did not have permission to chat with “Beau”. After being a part of our family for a few years, “Beau” had now rejected his sister-in-law.
Switching gears, I began to think of how this could become a funny story. I logged onto my Facebook account and within a few seconds he was ready to chat with me.
I had some ambitious ideas for where I wanted the chat to go but, this being my first attempt at scam-baiting, I clearly need some practice!
My editorial notes are displayed [in brackets].
Beau How you?
Todd great- you?
Beau Not good
Todd how was was your holiday?
[Maybe this chat would go in a different direction?]
Beau Not good Not good
Todd oh no! what happened?
Beau Not good I need your help
Todd of course- what happened?
Beau Am stuck in London…….was mugged at a gun point last night
All cash credit card and cell phone was stolen off me
Beau It was so scary just happy i still have my life and passport…
Todd have you called Chris?
Beau Here with me
I need your help
Todd sure- what can I do?
Beau I need you to loan me some cash….as the next available flight leaves in some few hours from now…..
I will def refund it back to you as soon as i get back home PROMISE
[You can always trust a promise if it’s written in CAPS, right?]
Todd sure- how?
Beau You can have it sent to my name through western union
All you will need is my name and location
Todd ok- what do I give them
Beau Are you on the website?
Todd is that all I have to do?
oh- I can do it online?
Beau Are you on the website?
Todd I’m there now
Todd already there
What step are you now?
Todd so how do you id yourself to them? why don’t I just buy your ticket for you?
what airline is the flight on?
I’m calling my travel agent right now
[Note: I have no travel agent. Do people really ‘have’ travel agents nowadays?]
Beau I need the money to settle my bills as my return flight leaves in some few hours from now
Thru the help of the embassy
Todd ok- the agent needs to now which airline your flying
she can have the ticket all set in 5 min- this is great!
what time was that flight you mentioned? I think we can make it
Beau I already have a return ticket back home
I just need to settle some outstanding bills here before leaving
Todd oh- the agent is telling me that she has to charge me b/c she bought the manifest placeholder- oh no!
it is going to cost me a $250 fee to cancel the customs paperwork
[Now I just wanted to see how long I could keep this going.]
Beau Are you on the website???
Todd what do I do? the customs document has already been filed by the travel agent
could you maybe repay the customs fee as well as the $980? I hate to ask but you know how tough it has been since the tractor accident
[Tractor accidents can be expensive.]
I will refund everything back…
Todd I’ll wire the money but I had the travel agent reserve the customs manifest and now she has to charge me for it. I’m so sorry to ask b/c of the trouble you are in but since I’m in the physical therapy for my detached liver $ has been tough
[Also expensive- a detached liver…]
Can you get on the website now?
Please be fast….as am freaked out here
Todd but I’m kind of worried about this manifest fee
Beau I will settle everything when i get back….
So how much will everything be now….plus the $980
Todd are you sure you will be able to pay it back? I’m sorry to ask but since I traded the cow for those hybrid seeds it’s been tough.
[How can I work a giant into the conversation?]
well- $980 plus the $250 customs fee. is that too much?
[Just wondering if Mr. Scammer is a Math whiz…]
Todd wait- maybe I don’t need you to repay it in cash.
Beau i will def refund everything to you as soon as i get back home..
Todd I have always admired your singing voice- maybe you could sing a Frank Sinatra song on my answering machine- that would be cool- your Sinatra impression is the best
Beau Am in a local library
Todd people would think that Frank Sinatra really liked me enough to record a personalized greeting
Facebook: You don’t have permission to chat with this person.
would you maybe write me one of your classic Haikus?
[…and unfriended by fake Beau!]
p.s. If, like me, you like to know how things resolve, all worked out. We had contacted my brother via phone while I was chatting with scam-Beau. Chris put the word out on his Facebook wall alerting all of their friends to the attempted scammer. Real-Beau was able to shut down the Facebook account that morning and, after verifying his identity, regained control of it a couple of days later. Although scam-Beau had serially begged and unfriended all of the friends that appeared online that morning, as far as I know, no one actually sent any money.