In a Band, Who Gets the Chicks?

This is simple. The hierarchy for ass in a band is as follows, as I have observed as a musician and roadie:

1. Lead singer (Don’t even THINK about competing. They are basically humping the entire audience during the set.)
2. Saxophonist (Most bands do not have one. But if they do, this man takes a backseat only to the front man.)
3. Lead guitarist (Assuming no sax player, this guy has — almost — his pick of female fans.)
4. Drummer (Old joke — what do you call a guy that hangs out with musicians? A drummer. But damned if they don’t look good back there beating their skins with their long, rigid shafts.)
5. Rhythm guitarist (Doesn’t take the leads but still gets credit for strapping on the Strat.)
6. Bass player (Hey, we know how to hit the groove!)
7. Keyboard player (Barely a step above the road crew. Not that there is anything wrong with the road crew!)