Tag Archives: funny

The Picky Eater vs. The Foodie

I love to eat. But I’m not a foodie. My palate is pretty specific- I’m still a picky eater, like I was when I was 7. Vegetables? No thanks. Seafood or shellfish? Uh, no. Thanks for offering.

I’d say that I am a level-20 picky eater- a grandmaster. I’m like a food ninja- you could be sitting right next to me and you’d never even notice I wasn’t eating half of what you are. That’s me- silent but deadly. No, wait- wrong expression…

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A Little Place Called Papatown

My boys are pretty lucky. They, unlike most American families, live in an extended family home. We just barely qualify for that classification as my father lives with us. And my boys love it.

My father ended up with us through a particular set of circumstances that found him living a bachelor life as a man in his early 60’s. When we were looking to buy a bigger house 4 years ago, we decided to look for something with room for Papa. My wife and her close friend, our realtor, found our current home. The house was big enough for our growing family (my wife was pregnant with the Goon at the time) and the basement was 90% finished with a space that would be perfect for my father. So it was that Papatown was founded.

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First World Problems?

Am I the only person that enjoys the absurd?

I traveled this past Tuesday from Syracuse to Minneapolis to visit one of my organization’s field offices. Syracuse is not exactly the travel hub of the country so usually any flight out of SYR entails connections. Today’s trip was no exception- SYR to O’Hare in Chicago then on to Minneapolis after a 90 minute layover. I got lucky with the airport logistics today. Usually connections through O’Hare feel like you are landing in Wisconsin and leaving from Indiana but today my arrival and departure gates were only a short stroll from each other.

I grabbed a sandwich on my way to my connecting gate and, once finding where I needed to be, sat down for a leisurely lunch and some people watching. The Gods of Humor did not disappoint as I was barely into my sandwich when a whole lot of crazy sat down three seats away from me. Sit back and enjoy the show…

***

A well-accessorized woman in her mid-60’s sits down with a bundle of exasperation and irritation. Her hair is perfectly coiffed. She’s got about as much gold as Mr. T. Her cell phone is already out and ready to do some damage. The woman (let’s call her Goldie) unloads on the person unfortunate enough to be on the phone with her. Her statement to the effect of, “And it’s coach!” is what really grabs my attention.

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No Talking!

People fascinate me. I am, truly, an ardent fan of human quirks. I can sit and watch people for a LOOOOOONG time.

At heart, I am a shy person. I’m not the one that goes into a room full of strangers and starts chatting people up. I am very content to sit with my thoughts and simply watch as the human condition plays out in front of me.

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Twelve Steps for the Dollar Store

I am a dollar store junkie.

It’s embarrassing but I’m committed to this writing process and need to reveal truths in my work. So there it is. I’m an idiot for dollar stores.

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